As the romantic phase of being a twosome in partnership morphs into a family unit getting “beyond” busy, you graduated from being a couple to adding members to expand your boundary of love aka responsibilities. Your horizon encompassed Children growing up, meals, education, picking-dropping; activities; sports; projects; home-works; tuitions; chicken pox; fevers; mumps; doctor visits; bills to pay and myriad other commitments that go in tandem with enriching the growing minds of the little ones.
Most Parents lose themselves to close to below last on the priority list.
By the time children are ready to flee the nest parents are a mere wisp of version of what their essence was once. Where is that vivaciousness; excitement and seeking gone?
We all must learn to put “I” first again. We have but one life. Glass half empty vs half full is this milestone syndrome. We are now privileged members of the “Club empty Nester”
Foremost we need to permit ourselves to grieve the pace at which children moved out to spread their wings, as is their rite of passage.
What a beautiful pause in life for reflection, and what a perfect time for new beginnings. Once we accept, we will enjoy upcoming adult to adult relationship with progeny. It’s okay if it takes longer and is not too smooth either. Patience helps. Think back to days of intense parenting, when the demands were endless. What did you fantasize about doing? Traveling, leisure reading, time to learn a new skill, devoting time to friendships, taking some new college classes, enrolling in an exercise class, try your hand at adventures and new skills. Now is the time to do those things, taking on new challenges. You’ve spent a long time parenting, now parent yourself and love yourself by doing some things you would enjoy. The best is yet to come!
Pretend you are 19. Begin to be a little selfish.
A lady found Facebook and hooked up with old high school friends. She finally did a deep dive in learning how to sew and became a quilter. She rescued two animals that she gives all of her love and attention. She partnered with her sibling with an itch for travel to see the world destinations she dreamt of. She and husband landscaped to create a garden of her dreams which is their paradise for daily tea time and sitting in to enjoy nature.
If you are bored it is because you are boring.
Please do not become lonely or depressed. You have raised your family and now is the time to nurture yourself.
Why bemoan the loss of kids when you have gifted the world with well raised citizens who are productive and are making you proud? You gave your all to family and now it is time to cherish your time on this earth.
You have successfully given your children valuable life skills. Now is time to celebrate accomplishments as a parent. More so in today’s environments where many a friend and acquaintance lament they are raising their millennium children. These healthy adult children refuse to get a job, go to college, clean their room etc. In other words their parents are still supporting them.
Is there something you always wanted to do that you never had time for? Get a college degree, take that computer class, go to your local library they may offer classes with minimal fees, join or start a spiritual study group. There are travel clubs; Volunteer at your local hospital or other agency.
Relish moments, experiences. Cherish what unfolds and all that is gone by. Forge relationships and find different friends for different topics. Make it a celebration of life as this is YOUR time again!